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That girl...

Posted 11-09-2008 at 03:58 AM by Porschephile
Some of you may have read that "Damn I have to pick the movie" thread I posted up a while back, and in lieu of resurecting that thread, I'll just update my blog...

I'll start by making a long story as abridged as possible:

I've known girl for 4 years, she's a great part of my life. always loved her company, and first time I was literally on my way to ask her out, I met her new boyfriend of an hour earlier I was pissed. fast forward to that new boyfriend cheating on her sometime later. she broke it off, and met someone new, that I didn't know until a week later, again, on the way to ask her out... DAMN. I'm pissed. fast forward again, she broke it off with him because he went house shopping, took her along, and started talking about "the baby's room." she apparently didn't dig that yet. I'm sure there were other reasons, but eh.

fast forward a month, and it takes us to that movie night in question. She comes over, we're flirting BIG time.we kill off a bottle of wine, and I don't think I could tell you what happened in half the movie because of all the distractions. Anyway, she leaves, i tell her to text when she gets home, just to make sure she made it safely...She does, and because i was drunk, I decided that via text message, telling her my feelings was a great idea. in hindsight, probably not... but whatever. what's done is done. In the text, I told her I'd quit smoking for her, I'd pretty much do anything. she responded not by saying "No" but rather, a "I just broke up with patrick, now's not a good time".

A while goes by, and I try contact with no results. so finally I get a little upset and send her a message saying "Hey, sorry if I put you off, I didn't intend to. Give me a calll next time you want to hang out." I literally got a message in a minute saying "Ya didn't. I've been busy, dog has had surgery, etc. etc."

Next chapter in this story book, a week later regular contact has been restored, and she shows up at a Halloween party my friend threw. we had a great time, and (like any time we hang out in public prior to the party) we had people approaching us often, asking if we were a couple... to which I stupidly said "Nope. I don't deserve her". I sold myself short. Her reaction to that? she said "Oh whatever." we talked for a bit about my asking her out, where I say "Well, I was just a little late the past 2 chances I had, and I didn't want it to happen again." chatted a little more, then she gets ready to leave the party, and we're talking and she talks about moving to either Nebraska or Florida. said it's probably going to happen. I instantly go into a funk, talk about how much it would suck to not have her around, how she should stay here. We hug, she heads out. I talked with some friends about it, and they said by her demeanor, it seems that she needs to figure out what she wants, my cards are on the table, and she needs to play hers.

A week ago today, I got a message from her on Myspace saying "Hey, I leave for Nebraska on Tuesday. You can call me any time to chat, and thanks for being such a great friend!" I instantly assume that she used that as a goodbye forever kinda thing. I try calling, no answer. I send a text, no answer. I give up and go to bed. next day grab a beer with my best friend's girlfriend (for those who think that's weird, it happens ALL the time.I have no Interest in Allison, as she has none in me. My best friend has immense amounts of trust in the both of us.) and we were talking about the situation. Both agreed (assuming that she was moving) that she was trying to cut ties and just leave in the least awkward way possible. She suggests I send a message that talks about my feelings, how I thought it was a crappy send off, etc. I went home and did that the second I walked in the door.

I get a message the following morning saying "Um, I'm not moving. I'm just going to visit family, I'll be back on the 10th. I'm glad to have you in my life, and I would not just up and leave on you like that. I have too much respect for you." I was thoroughly embarrassed, and told her that, as well as I'll see her on the 10th. Last night, I went to the bar with some friends, and was talking to her via text all night.

I've got the feeling that the way she worded the "I'm leaving on tuesday" message was possibly a test, to see what I'd do, or just an honest mistake.

and as it sits right now, she's in Nebraska visiting family, I'm at home drinking Absinthe, I'm listening to music, and I can't get her out of mind. I'm planning on quitting smoking on the 20th of this month. I'm damn glad I didn't screw the pooch on this one and screw up a great relationship.

I know I might not "get the girl" in the end, but honestly, she means so much to me that having her in my life at all makes me feel amazing. I hope all works for the best.

Anyway, thanks for reading my abridged version of "Geoff's life right now" I know it's a lot of brain damage, but the end result should be worth it. if not, I'm going to be pissed.
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